Russia’s Delusional Death Rattle: Naryshkin’s Fantasy of Carving Up Ukraine Exposes a Dying Empire

6 min readJan 29, 2025

Sergei Naryshkin’s pathetic fantasy of slicing up Ukraine with Poland, Hungary, and Slovakia is less of a diplomatic proposal and more of a deranged fever dream from a failing empire on life support. If the Kremlin thinks it can stitch together a modern Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact while its own army is being pulverized in Ukraine, its leadership is even more delusional than previously assumed. Let’s be blunt: this isn’t a serious geopolitical move — it’s the flailing of a decrepit, senile regime that knows it’s running out of time.

1. Russia’s Historical Amnesia: The Arrogance of the Loser

It takes a special kind of idiocy to invoke the specter of 1939 while occupying another country’s territory in 2025. Russia, the same state that endlessly screams about the “Great Patriotic War” and Nazi Germany, is now floating ideas that reek of Stalinist and Hitlerian land-grabbing. The difference? In 1939, the Soviet Union was actually capable of enforcing its will on the region. Today, Russia is a hollowed-out mafia state, hemorrhaging soldiers and reliant on North Korean munitions, Iranian drones, and 60-year-old Soviet scrap metal disguised as “military equipment.”

Meanwhile, Naryshkin and his geriatric Kremlin cronies still believe they can gaslight the world into thinking that Poland — one of Ukraine’s staunchest supporters — would betray Kyiv and align with Moscow. This is the geopolitical equivalent of a drunken bum on the street corner claiming that Jeff Bezos is plotting to share his fortune with him. It’s sad, it’s embarrassing, and above all, it’s pathetically transparent.

2. Psychological Warfare? More Like Amateur Hour

The Kremlin’s goal here is laughably obvious: stir paranoia among Ukraine’s allies and hope that NATO fractures into squabbling factions. But this isn’t 2008, when Russian propaganda still had some edge. After two decades of lies, war crimes, and broken agreements, Moscow’s credibility is worth less than a ruble after another round of Western sanctions.

Poland, Hungary, and Slovakia would have to be completely suicidal to entertain Russia’s offer. Poland is actively preparing for the next phase of Russian aggression, expanding its military and ensuring that Ukraine remains a buffer between Moscow and Warsaw. Hungary may flirt with the Kremlin, but Viktor Orbán is a snake who only cares about power — he won’t jeopardize EU funds and NATO security just to play footsie with a country that’s rapidly becoming North Korea 2.0. And Slovakia? Fico may be pro-Russian, but he’s not stupid. Hitching your country to Moscow today is like buying stock in the Titanic after it’s already hit the iceberg.

3. The Real Partition That’s Coming: Russia’s Own Disintegration

Here’s the part that must keep Putin, Naryshkin, and the rest of Russia’s decaying elite awake at night: if any country is at risk of being carved up in the coming years, it’s not Ukraine — it’s Russia itself. Let’s look at the facts:

Chechnya is a ticking time bomb. The only thing keeping Kadyrov’s gangster regime in line is Moscow’s money and brute force. The second the Kremlin weakens, expect Chechnya to break away — violently.
The Russian Far East is already more economically tied to China than Moscow. Give it a decade, and it’ll be de facto Chinese territory.
Tatarstan, Bashkortostan, and the ethnic republics have been biding their time. Russia’s colonial grip on them is weakening by the day.
Kaliningrad is a NATO-encircled hostage. If Russia ever collapses, it’s going back to Europe.

While Naryshkin is fantasizing about redrawing Ukraine’s borders, he should be worrying about who’s going to be redrawing Russia’s. History is not kind to crumbling empires, and Moscow’s days of bullying its neighbors are numbered.

4. Russia: The International Village Idiot

At this point, Russia’s geopolitical strategies resemble the drunken ramblings of a man who has lost everything but still insists he’s a genius. Naryshkin and his ilk have taken a country with vast resources, nuclear weapons, and historical influence and turned it into a global laughingstock. They went from “a multipolar world” to being dependent on North Korean artillery shells. They went from “the world’s second army” to a military force that gets routed by Ukrainian teenagers with Western weapons. They went from “gas superpower” to a sanctioned economy that can’t even produce modern cars.

So, no, Russia isn’t carving up Ukraine. It’s barely holding onto the pieces of itself. The only map that needs redrawing is the one showing how much longer the Russian Federation will last before it implodes. Naryshkin’s grand delusion isn’t just historically illiterate — it’s the desperate bluff of a man who knows the end is coming.

Ukraine remains sovereign. Russia remains a failed empire, staggering toward the abyss. And the world is watching, waiting, and preparing for the final act of Moscow’s self-destruction.

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