North Korea’s Role in the Ukraine Conflict: A Rant on Human Bait Tactics and Global Insanity

5 min readDec 31, 2024

Ah, North Korea and Russia teaming up — two of the world’s most beloved overachievers in the “Who Can Treat People Like Crap the Fastest?” Olympics. Now they’re throwing North Korean soldiers into the Ukraine war like they’re extras in a low-budget war movie. And what’s their brilliant strategy? Human bait. Yup, actual living, breathing people used as decoys for drones. It’s not just inhumane; it’s so stupid it circles back around to genius…but not quite.

1. Desperation of Dumb Alliances

Let’s start with the obvious: Russia is so desperate, they’re outsourcing their war to North Korea. That’s like borrowing a lighter from a guy holding a can of gasoline. Russia’s military is so tapped out, they’re calling in reinforcements from a country where half the soldiers probably think drones are metal birds sent by angry gods.

And North Korea? Oh, they’re loving this. For Kim Jong-un, it’s like a live-action propaganda movie. “Hey, we sent our brave soldiers to fight for Mother Russia!” Yeah, brave soldiers who are running straight into a meat grinder. But who cares, right? The regime’s safe and sound, munching on caviar while soldiers’ families back home get a lifetime supply of jack squat.

2. Human Rights? Never Heard of ‘Em

Using human beings as bait isn’t just unethical; it’s the kind of evil you’d think even Bond villains would reject. “Wait, you’re actually sending people to their deaths just to distract a drone? Dude, even I have standards.”

And let’s not forget the soldiers themselves. They’re not signing up for this because they’re thrilled about getting obliterated by a Ukrainian drone. No, they’re being coerced. Probably told something like, “If you don’t fight, we’ll send your family to the rice paddies to eat mud pies.” Classic North Korea — the place where free will goes to die.

3. Old Tactics, Meet New Toys

Here’s the thing about modern warfare: it’s not the 1950s anymore. Marching a bunch of soldiers into a field and yelling “Charge!” is about as effective as bringing a butter knife to a gunfight. Ukraine’s got drones, precision artillery, and soldiers who actually know what they’re doing. North Korea? They’re out there playing hide-and-seek with technology that can see through trees. It’s like watching cavemen try to outsmart a spaceship.

Oh, and let’s talk about the poor Ukrainian drone operators. Sure, they’re winning, but imagine the psychological toll of seeing human bait tactics every day. “Hey, there’s another guy running straight into artillery fire. Should we feel bad?” Nah, they’re professionals. But still… it’s gotta mess with your head.

4. The Future of Stupid Wars

This whole fiasco is rewriting the book on how not to fight a war. Proxy warfare? Yeah, it’s been around forever, but now it’s gone full absurd. North Korea sending troops to help Russia is like a failing restaurant hiring a chef who specializes in burnt toast. And Ukraine? They’re writing the playbook on how to turn desperation into innovation — drone strikes, AI, decentralized command. They’re basically the MacGyvers of modern warfare.

5. Collateral Damage: Credibility and Morale

Let’s not forget the fallout. In North Korea, families are probably wondering why their sons are being turned into cannon fodder for a country they couldn’t even point to on a map. Meanwhile, Russia’s military looks about as competent as a drunk guy trying to parallel park a tank. Using foreign troops isn’t just a tactical failure; it’s a PR nightmare. “Hey, comrades, guess what? We’re so bad at this, we outsourced our incompetence!”

Conclusion: The Circus Rolls On

So what have we learned? Nothing good, that’s for sure. North Korea’s soldiers are getting wiped out, Russia’s reputation is circling the drain, and Ukraine is turning this circus into a master class in survival. The whole thing’s a tragic comedy of errors, with real human lives paying the price.

But hey, at least the military-industrial complex is happy. They’re probably popping champagne every time another batch of North Korean soldiers walks into a drone strike. And the rest of us? We’re just sitting here, watching the world burn, hoping someone out there still knows how to use common sense.

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