Monarchists, Memes, and Make-Believe: How Exiled Royalty Fell in Love with the Far Right

6 min readApr 19, 2025

So, Reza Pahlavi — the crown prince with no crown, the monarch without a monarchy, the leader of a revolution who never set foot in one — wants to bring democracy to Iran. That’s cute. But don’t be fooled. Behind the polished speeches, nostalgic Instagram posts, and “Iranian lives matter” hashtags, there’s a dark little secret festering in the royalist revival: a love affair with the far-right.

Not the well-dressed, polite kind of conservatism. We’re talking culture-war crusaders, MAGA warriors, anti-Muslim crusaders, crypto-fascists with iPads, and bored exile boomers cosplaying as freedom fighters while quoting Reagan between chai sips.

Let’s dig in.

1. The Exile Blues: When You Lose Your Country and Blame Everyone But Yourself

Imagine being born into a royal family, losing your throne before you could drive, and spending the rest of your life watching YouTube documentaries about how great your dad was. That’s trauma. That’s identity crisis on a national scale.

And when that trauma festers long enough, it starts to sound like this:

“The Islamists stole our country.”
“The West betrayed us.”
“The commies poisoned the revolution.”

You know what that is? Classic far-right setup: blame everyone but the power you once had. It’s not about democracy — it’s about vengeance dressed up as virtue. It’s about Make Iran Great Again, but with better tailoring.

2. From Feminist Uprising to Chest-Thumping Patriarchy

In 2022, Iranian women shouted “Zan, Zendegi, Azadi” — “Woman, Life, Freedom.” It was raw, righteous, revolutionary.

And what did our royalist influencers do? They Photoshopped it into “Mard, Mihan, Abadi” — “Man, Homeland, Prosperity.” Like a gender-swapped knockoff of the original with the testosterone turned up to eleven. Because apparently nothing screams liberation like shoving women aside to let the men take back the mic.

It’s meme warfare meets masculine meltdown. You take a feminist slogan, rebrand it with nationalistic chest-puffing, and boom — now you’re a digital general in the battle for civilization. Except it’s not a battle. It’s just authoritarian cosplay in Persian script.

3. The Price of Relevance: Clientelism, American-Style

Let’s talk cash. Influence. Visibility. Who’s paying?

Well, you’re not going to overthrow a regime with Instagram lives and exile brunches. So where do you turn? Straight to the geopolitical bargain bin: MAGA think tanks, Christian Zionist lobbies, and neoconservative fossils who still think Iran is full of Soviet sleeper cells.

The deal’s simple:

You give them exile legitimacy and anti-Islamist credentials.
They give you sanction porn, Twitter bots, and maybe a seat at CPAC.

It’s not a revolution. It’s a franchise model. Call it “McFreedom™” — made in America, served cold to Tehran.

4. Shah 2.0: Now with Extra Mythology

Here’s where it gets weird.

The Shah — Reza’s dad — gets repackaged like a Marvel superhero for the nationalist right. Not as a flawed autocrat with a record of repression and torture, but as the ultimate “anti-woke” modernizer. The good old days: no headscarves, girls in miniskirts, Western investment flowing like Shiraz wine.

He becomes a myth: not a man, but a civilizational guardian against Islam, socialism, and the big bad Third World. A one-man firewall for Western hegemony in the Middle East.

Never mind that he ruled with secret police and oil deals. In far-right fan fiction, the Shah was the Elon Musk of geopolitics — just with better posture and more tanks.

5. The Liberal-Fascist Mashup: Democracy with a Side of Authoritarianism

Now here’s the kicker.

These monarchists love to talk about democracy. Free speech. Women’s rights. Religious tolerance. They toss those words around like confetti at a parade they didn’t organize. But look closer, and the logic is twisted:

Free elections? Sure — as long as the “wrong” people don’t win.
Women’s rights? Of course — as long as they’re not “too feminist.”
Secularism? Hell yes — as long as it means silencing anything Islamic.

That’s not democracy. That’s designer autocracy. You get the branding without the values. You get CNN slogans, Fox News policy, and Telegram conspiracies all wrapped up in the flag of “freedom.”

Conclusion: The Revolution Will Be Branded

So what do we get if these guys actually win? A free Iran?

Maybe. But more likely, we get a new flavor of old-school authoritarianism — this time with better PR. An Iran that’s free to wear jeans, drink wine, and praise the Shah, but not to question power. A palace without a prison — until you speak out.

Reza Pahlavi might not be the villain. But he’s riding shotgun in a vehicle loaded with grievance, myth, and far-right baggage. And that car isn’t headed for democracy. It’s headed for restoration — a slick, hashtag-ready return to a fantasy that never actually worked.

But hey — they’ve got better graphic design this time.

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