How Trump 2024 Could Make White-Collar Crime Great Again

4 min read3 days ago

If Trump gets back in the Oval Office in 2024, expect a full-on revival of the classic, American pastime: white-collar crime. Oh, he’ll be setting the stage for corporate crooks to do what they do best — rip you off, lie through their teeth, and never face a minute of jail time. In fact, under Trump’s first term, white-collar prosecutions hit historic lows. That’s right, folks. While you were worried about pickpockets, the real thieves were in suits, sitting in corner offices, sipping on $500 martinis, and laughing all the way to the offshore bank.

Now, here’s how it would work. Trump loves a good deregulation, and he’s all about letting businesses “breathe” by cutting “red tape.” But let’s be honest, when Trump talks about “breathing room,” he’s talking about the kind of room that allows corporate execs to breathe easy as they shred documents, hide assets, and massage those financials into a nice, comfy lie. By putting the brakes on the DOJ’s white-collar crackdown, he’s pretty much handing the keys to the vault to the very people who can’t resist stealing from it.

And let’s talk about accountability — or, in Trump’s case, the lack of it. Since 2021, the DOJ has focused on going after individuals, not just corporations. Because let’s face it, if you want to stop this kind of crime, you’ve gotta go after the folks with names and faces, not just the company logos. But under Trump? He’d probably dial this down. Who cares if a CEO cooks the books? Just as long as they’re making those “beautiful” profits, right? The message is clear: if you’re wealthy enough, you’re free to do whatever the hell you want.

Oh, and if you’re worried about Russian oligarchs using the U.S. banking system as their personal piggy bank for some geopolitical mischief? Well, a Trump administration would likely give them a nice warm welcome. Sanctions? Those are for chumps! Why go after Russian elites when they’re helping fuel our real estate market, our financial markets, and those cozy little slush funds? Trump’s all about “America First” — and if that means turning a blind eye to some creative Russian money-laundering on U.S. soil, so be it.

In the end, if Trump rolls back all those regulatory “burdens,” we’re looking at a free-for-all. Corporations and their high-flying execs will have the green light to play fast and loose with your money, while the DOJ sits on the sidelines. It’s the ultimate trickle-down effect — except this time, it’s corruption trickling down from the top. So if you like a little fraud with your morning coffee and a dash of insider trading with your 401k, a second Trump term might be just what you’re looking for.

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